Meghna on a Desi Teenage Love Affair

After searching for what seemed ages, I discovered that I could not notice Desi Love without a form of commitment – meaning that the happy couple was either engaged or married. Before that period, one does not see the love. This is strange, isn’t it? But then I realized something and it all made sense. I’ll explain this, but first let me tell you a story. Once upon a time a little girl fell in love with a Desi boy. The consequences that follow are rather disastrous because there actually is a real good reason why I couldn’t find Just Desi Love: it’s a secret…

Imagine two Desi teenagers who fell in love the way only teenagers can, careless, deeply, passionately and reckless. Now that is the teenage part. The Desi part commanded them to be indirect, secretly and proper. Now when it comes to love, any kind of love, that is incredibly hard. Needless to say, these two kids made a small mess. I’m not being sarcastic here, the mess really was small. Know why? Because the ultimate Protector and Supervisor kept an eye on them: Family. While these two kids were dealing with their awkwardness, shyness and hormones that all of a sudden had taken control over them (being a teenager and in love is quite complicated), they were watched by Family, the Protector. Now, if there is a Protector there is also something that one needs to be protected from. The Bad Guy or the Enemy, or in this case the Bad Guy looking like a Good Guy. Let’s call him Wormtail after the guy in Harry Potter whom everyone thought was good, but really wasn’t. Wormtail is Society, Desi Society.

Now what could Society do to something so pure and innocent as teenage love? Point to note, it was very innocent and pure. These kids stole smiles, glances and touches. They really didn’t pull an American Pie or something… The thing about Indian Society is that it is very old-fashioned, conservative, restrictive and judgmental. I swear, sometimes I feel like I’m stuck in a Jane Austen novel. So, love without commitment equals sin. When you’re in love, you get engaged or married. When you don’t, it’s a scandal and reason for vicious gossip. You see the problem right? Teenagers tend to not want to get engaged or married yet…

So we have two crazy kids in love, Family who tells them to stop because Society will crucify them. Society and Family decided their love story’s fate. Funny, when you take the letter S and F, you can start a word…SacriFice. And that’s what they did. They sacrificed their hearts.

Why am I telling you this? Because this is a classic tale that takes place in Indian community. Of course, variations exist. But the Protector is there and so is Wormtail or Society. Some kids do try dating, to find themselves breaking up because their parents tell them to. Sometimes the parents don’t approve of their kids choice, sometimes they simply believe they’re too young. Kids who tried and did not get married, run the risk of becoming a mockery behind their backs. Love without commitment is reason to gossip.

I am also telling you this story because I think it’s wrong. To go back to the story, both the boy and girl couldn’t let go of the other one for a long time. But by then they both felt so insecure and lost, they really didn’t know what to do. This really is a classic case of Society and Family meddling into business that’s delicate and fragile and (in my opinion) needs not be meddled with.

When all’s over, both The Protector and Wormtail are at ease, but the boy and girl? Years later, they still find the words What If shouting in their faces every once in a while. I know this is a cliché, but it’s a true cliché. I’ve seen it. I’ve seen girls staring down at their feet when What If demanded an answer. I’ve seen them blushing and stammering “I dunno” as if they were back in Chemistry class… What If...