“I’m dude! I’m a hunky dude! I’m a badass hunky dude…eh dudette!” By Meghna

The complications of trying to be a man...

Recently, I saw the movie She’s the Man for the millionth time again. I really love that movie! It’s based on one of favorite Shakespeare plays, Twelfth Night. I wrote a really cool paper on that one J But back to the movie. Since I was watching the movie for the millionth time (and no, I’m seriously not exaggerating) I decided to figure out what exactly it is about this film that keeps me so interested.


For those of you who are not familiar with the plot of the film, I’ll give you a short summary (sorry to spoil the plot though!). It tells the story of a teenage girl named Viola who loves soccer. When the girls’ team at her school is cut, she wants to try out for the boys’ team. But the boys don’t want girls on their team because they’re supposedly not good enough. Pissed, Viola goes home and discovers that her twin brother is sneaking off to London to perform with his band. He asks his sister to call his new school to cover for him, but Viola gets an even better idea: she takes up her brother’s spot by pretending to be him. That’s right, she becomes a man! Her goal is to get selected for the soccer team so that she can defeat the boys’ team of her former school. Obviously, being a boy is not an easy task for a girl! Especially when she has a crazy mother who wants her to be a lady-like debutante, falls in love with her roommate, whom she is trying to set up with her lab partner who actually has a crush on her, or him as the poor lab partner thinks. In the end, Viola achieves her goal and finds her place as a lady-like, soccer playing young woman.

Now here’s what I love about it: she does not let the conventional standards for girls limit her and achieves her goal. People said that she couldn’t play soccer with the guys and she proved them wrong. She loved soccer and their remarks did not stop her from playing the game.

I went through something slightly similar. As a Desi girl from a well-to-do family and good education I fell into the category of “Indian Princess”. That meant that I was supposed to be rich, smart and pretty. I know that doesn’t seem so bad, but when you consider that I actually didn’t have a dime because I had no job and my wealth was actually my parents’, it sort of loses its meaning, doesn’t it? Add to that the fact that paying attention in class didn’t necessarily make me understand the world and I hated being called pretty because people wouldn’t listen to me. It was my purpose to smile and look nice and naturally, to be quiet. A Desi girl who defies traditions is a threat to a wonderful society, so eh…Meghna shut up? I felt confined, limited and restricted. Not at all like myself and even less like the “Indian Princess”. I just missed a part of me. A part that would help me to speak up. And eventually make me a better writer.

So, I rebelled. I became a boy too (Desi boys have more freedom than girls, so I figured maybe I can speak up now :p). Well, Ok, I was not exactly a boy, but I became boyish. I cut my hair shorter, wore no make- up, no skirts or dresses. I still have a collection of casual jeans from that period. I tried to become a more androgynous person. I wanted to incorporate the masculine qualities I missed in my feminine personality like, being allowed to speak up, discovering the real world as opposed to the world that Desi girls are allowed to see and being more confident.

I hung out more with boys and learned to understand them better. As a Desi girl talking to boys is appreciated up till a certain level, beyond that you’re crossing the line and becoming a…what’s the word….it’s vile…well, you know what I mean, right? But I crossed it carefully and unseen. That’s how I became more street-smart. Free from the stereotype of Pretty-Indian-Girl-Needs-A-Man-To-Take-Care-of-Her I learned to take care of myself and became more independent, which stimulated my mind to become more open to new ideas. I found a way to express my opinions and back them up quite rationally so that people would not dismiss them as emotional crap. I developed  my personality. I became stronger, wiser and happier. More at ease with myself. Eventually, my repressed feminine parts surfaced again in a way I appreciated them. And I felt at peace with myself. I liked the person I had become.

When I look at Viola and see how much she learns by walking “on the other side” I feel such a thrill! By being a boyish person, I had opened doors for myself and I saw her doing the same thing with all sorts of comic results. Trust me, discovering new sides to yourself leads to strange situations, but try to see the humor in it ;-)

Why do we place women and men in little boxes that define them. Why can’t a woman play soccer and a man be sensitive? Why can’t a Desi girl have an opinion? I know that in general these lines are fading. But still, they’re not completely gone. Especially in Desi society the roles of men and women are clear and straying from them is not appreciated because it shakes the very foundations on which that society is build. It is scary…just like Scary Movie.

Does that mean that we need to hold ourselves back? That we need to limit ourselves? I don’t think so. Like Viola, I have a goal and just because I happen to be a girl that doesn’t mean that I can’t do it! Vice versa, I suggest men don’t let themselves be held back either. You don’t have to support a stereotype; just your own dreams.

For all my dreamers out there…"I believe I can fly" by R. Kelly